Red Balloon
Remember that French film with the red balloon? A kid has this red balloon but it flies away and the camera basically watches it goes about through the city.
When I was a kid, they had a carnival at my elementary school. There was so much to see and do. I was too poor to actually play any of the games or go on any of the rides but my young heart was content at just watching people having fun. There was so much joy to be spread around. I then saw a man selling balloons. I desperately wanted one but the 10 cent price tag was beyond my empty pockets. I decided that I may have a few coins at home. I ran home as fast as my legs could carry me and I ran back excited with a shiny dime safely tucked in my hand. I paid the man and asked for a brilliant red balloon. Just like the one in the movie. My face was hardly wide enough to display the grin as I pranced around staring at my big red balloon. I tied it around my wrist so I wouldn't be bothered with holding it. No sooner than I finished tying and let go of it, the string unraveled itself and flew away. You see, at 10 years, you can hardly expect me to tie anything securely. I stared at the balloon as it became smaller and smaller, farther and farther away. My new toy lasted no more than a minute. I can't believe something I wanted so badly, I let go so easily.
Henny and Anh got married today. I wish them the best. It was the first wedding I was offically invited to. I was dateless but Nam, Jack, and Kim made it feel like it was the four of us: Together. I thought one of Anh's friends, the only female one out of the 5 guys, was pretty cute. The coconut cake was heavenly. I took home a souvenir swan. I have to remember two song titles. Took home a balloon for my cousin Fiona. I held onto that bad luck #13 balloon as if my life depended on it.
Rippling effect
Today's aura was a charming one. The kind winds and cool temper danced circles round my ears. I have to say that it doesn't take much to enter fluttering into your steps. Should lightly go about your business without urgency but with passion. Passion that envelopes your encounters. It soothes your voice and calms their eyes.
The lawyer called me the other day. She's asking for permission to settle my case. That's right, the accident that happened Sept. 9th, 2003. You count the months. Finally, another chapter of my life can be closed.
I saw Huy at the gas station the other day. He suggested I go away to a boonie college with nothing. Only without distractions will I succeed. Sage advice. I'm contemplating Chico. Love my wandering mind don't you?
Alone again... naturally
Kim's going to ask Van if she'd like to go to the wedding with me. I really hope she'd say yes. I'd hate to show up by myself. It just doesn't seem right to go alone. I would have asked someone else, but my repertoire of female cohorts is too small. It doesn't matter really, too many factors are in place against it happening. The late notice and already we have one too many people at our table. But we can always hope.
Just put down an offer at another house. Let's see how it goes.
I think it was sometime during my senior year in highschool. Nga raved about this drama serial she was watching on Channel 26. I was always in need of a reason to go to a girl's house and here was a preconceived pretext for me. I jumped at the chance. And so, I came over to Nga's house every Saturday night at 8 to watch Hoshi no Kinka. She was right. It was a great show about a deaf girl who comes out of her little fishing village to find her lover in Tokyo. Nga's mom always had fresh home-made pho or bun bo hue. I have to say, I really did not like bun bo hue previously to this but her mom just prepared it so well that it has become one of my favorite foods. Noriko Sakai, the main character is incredibly cute and I started getting interested in Japanese pop. Of course, like hk stars, she's an actress as well as a singer. Good food, good company, and good entertainment. What more could you ask for? Ky joined the weekly ritual towards the latter half of the series. Those were good times. Oh yeah, Hoshi no Kinka translates to Heaven's Coin. There's a proverb to go with it, but I have since forgotten. The show is now being fansubbed so as I watch it again, I'll let you know. Click on the link and bittorrent it as well if you like.
Today I had pho with Kim. It's not a weekly thing but it's become... I guess... sort of our ritual. I will cherish the moments as I did with Nga. It's always been one of my self-deluded dreams. I always wanted to spend time with someone or a group of people. Something that we can call our own. In Hong Kong, they always say meet at "lo day fong." Which means "the regular place." It's stable. It's security. It's knowing while other things may change. There are some things that are timeless.
Timing...
Let me try to summarize my grief, anxiety, joy, fear, and malice for the past three weeks.
May 2nd =|
Watched "Mean Girls" with Nam and the bunch. Finally got to meet Nick. Can't say I like him or dislike him. I felt really out of sorts that night. They talked about things I couldn't understand. I tried to fit in but I was lost in their humor. Nothing made sense to me. Or perhaps I was just miffed at my still bummed ankle. I thought it was weird how Kim could laugh so much though.
May 3rd =
Called up the loan agent to get pre-approved to buy a house
May 4th =D
Got approved for $500k. Have to do some special things to get it done
May 5th =D
Discussed the housing situations among my sisters and it seems we've reached a consensus
May 10th =(
Looked at 4 houses. My gosh, they were horrible. 420k doesn't buy much at all.
May 12th =
Real estate agent played hookie with our appointment. Said she forgot she had a seminar. Very bad sign...
May 13th =D
Saw two houses I absolutely love. Made an offer on both of them. Agent didn't seem too knowledgeable when I asked her questions. Either that or she just used big words to reiterate nothing.
May 14th =
Angry Filipino guy at one of my stops is mad at me. I think he has a stress problem. Ran into my car to take back the specimens I just picked up from him. Slammed my door as well. Not sure why. I decided to leave in case he wanted to throw fists around. This stop might be trouble later on if we don't resolve the situation
May 15th =(
She canceled on me again???? Ok, I'm not sure this agent is good. I may need a new one. Said her Aunt has a terminal illness and she has to fly out to Arizona to see her immediately. Yeah.. sure, whatever
May 17th =(
At the same stop of the Filipino guy, I got rear ended by idiot van driver. Started yelling at me for parking behind him. Why are people so mean? No damage was done so I didn't call the insurance company. I should be the one mad. I mean I was the one who got hit. Getting bad luck at this stop.
Saw another house I liked and put down an offer.
May 18th =(
Supervisor of the Filipino guy says don't worry about it. While talking to him, Filipino guy starts yelling at me again. I ask the supervisor what he just said to me. Filipino guy starts yelling some more. This time I understood him. "Now, you're saying I can't TALK??? DAMM YOU!!!!" I look at supervisor for some assitance. He just turns his head and says, "Just go."
May 19th =(
Starting to get sick. Other two houses are sold. Didn't even bother to make a counter offer. Could be because my pre-approval has not been processed. Loan agent says its going smoothly, she also said it would only take 4 days and it's been 2 weeks. If I was really into buying a house, I would be miffed. But I'm just gonna calmly ride things out.
May 20th =|
Nam says grad party in middle June. Cool. Lost my car payment bill. Very odd. Was in SF driving and filling out the bill as I stopped at red lights. (Yeah yeah, bad idea, dangerous blah blah. SHUT UP SQUARE!) I put it all together one block before my stop. I remember I had the letter with me when I put money in the meter. One block later while walking, I noticed I no longer have it. I don't worry much because I filled out the whole check so it shouldn't be a problem. Maybe a good samaritan will pick it up and mail it for me.
May 22nd =)
Played scrabble with Jack and Nam. I kicked butt which is unusual because I suck at the game. Jack just had bad tiles. Bro graduated boot camp. Arguable the toughest part of getting into the Navy. So it should be smooth sailing now.
There. I think I got everything. I am all up to date again.
Angel Eyes
When you try to act smart you end up stupid. Anyway, I thought it was weird that eyelids would be called angel eyes. Now, I know. It's those stupid rings of light originally found on BMW's and now widely copied by ricers everywhere.
I am a flake. Yeah, very hypocritical (another hard one to spell) to complain of others when you do it yourself. But then again, I am also a hypocrite. Yeah, that's right. All the cards are on the table. Anyway, so my friend Nam and Hoang have a birthday party both on the same day. Both at the same time. Kim told me preference goes to whoever asked you first or whoever you like best. I decided to go to Hoang's during the day and Nam's during the night. Leave early and arrive late sounded good to me, although inside, I'm just blech.
Anyway, I enlisted a friend to make the long trek to Monterey with me and we could leave at 7PM without any ill effects on the party. It seemed like a good plan. If you don't know, normally, at a party, when one person leaves it makes it ok for the next person to leave. Pretty soon everyone leaves just because of that one person. But 2 people leaving "should" be ok. I hope. Somehow, over the course of things, 3 additional people get stuffed into my car. I protest but that does little good when you're late.
I woke at 8 and we didn't even get to the beach until noon. Terrible timing.... All the food had meat in it. So I starved the day away. I would have said fine whatever, but why break for meat with sand in it? I would have gone out and bought some food from McDonalds or something but my aching foot wouldn't allow more than 10 seconds of walking at a time. I'll be dammed if I act like a girl and ask someone to buy me food especially when there is perfectly good "sandy" food that everyone is enjoying. We went to this really expensive cliffside restaurant called The Bath House afterwards. Finally, some food. Again, everything had meat in it. I would have said find whatever, but why break for tiny portions of steak that cost $40? I got the salad and bread. It filled me up, but I was wholly unsatisfied. It wasn't a miserable day as I made it sound so far, because I was with friends. And we had a good time chatting. It was just not what I was expecting. And I just felt melancholy.
In the end, I get many; "Please don't leave." "Where are you going?" "You can stay." A rock and a hard place. Ok, decision pretty simple. I leave, party over for Hoang. I stay, party still goes for Nam. Now, I just have to make a phone call. But WTF do I say? I hate flakes. I dwell on it for a little bit. But I think I made too big of a deal about it. I just kept waiting and waiting. And in the end, I found myself at Planet Gemini. My foot hurt like no tomorrow. My face was sun burnt. I was sleepy. I just wanted to go home. I find out I missed a call from Nam earlier. Crap, now I am a bad friend. Never claimed to be a good friend. But I shouldn't be a bad friend.
You know what the moral of this story is? You know what I learned?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
This should have been posted last week, but I am so completely swamped with work to do.
