陳培勇的世界

Meet Oscar 

posted by John @ 9:31 PM Comments: 3

The Finish Line

I want to start off first by thanking God for getting me through this week. Without Him, I don't know if I could have made it. There were times of doubt and there were times of worry but each time, He was able to give me courage and strength to move on. I remember Wednesday night as I put one book down to pick up another, my eyelids felt as heavy as rocks. I closed my eyes and hoped for something... anything. I should've prayed but hey, I don't pretend to be a good Christian. Something sparked in me, surged through me and allowed me to continue and finish my work. I don't know how it was possible. I was already working on 3 hours sleep the night before. Already, I was burnt out. But Thursday I proudly marched in and did my duty. And I excelled. I triumphed. The preliminary results are higher than expected. I always keep telling myself that I will not slack off and let this repeat itself. But didn't this happen two weeks ago? As habits shall go, I will repeat this again in two weeks.

I'm almost there. I can the finish line just up ahead. 6 more weeks to go...

posted by John @ 9:05 AM Comments: 0

News and Comments

Olympics

I have to say I am extremely pissed off by the Olympic commitee. Maybe I'm just biased since I am Asian, I'll concede that. But I just don't understand how they can come to this conclusion. The other day they ruled that Yang Tae Young would not receive the gold medal even though he deserved it. Everyone knows there was an error in scoring his points. Everyone knows he scored higher than Hamm. But the judges decision was final. I know humans are not perfect and errors happen so it has to be part of the sport.

I'll play devil's advocate with myself and say that in football, officials make the wrong calls all the time and yet I agree with the NFL that the officials calls are final. But that's a different circumstance. We are talking about dynamics of the game because of the misruling. If a team were wrongly penalized then their play calling during the game is drastically altered from what they would have done if the call had gone the other way. There are too many variables and too many different kinds of outcomes that happens from the call. The official has to make a decision a decision right then and there so that the game can continue. This Olympic decision however is BLACK AND WHITE. Score him correctly. He wins. Score him incorrectly he gets 3rd. There are no other outcomes. Yet, they use technicality to say he doesn't get the gold. They admit he scored highest but will not give him the gold. What's with that?

I'm ashamed for Hamm. If I were him I would have returned the medal. I only want it if I truly deserve it. How can I call myself the world champion when plainly, this guy scored higher than me. I mean it's like running the mile. Because of a scoring mistake your opponent's time is increased so you get the medal. But you're not the fastest mile, he is. Your medal signifies nothing but a mistake. "I feel like I won it three times." You didn't win it a single time. You are not the champion. You don't deserve it.

Governor Schwarzenegger

Our govenator said that Indians have been ripping us off for too long and to say no on Prop 70. Now Indians are asking for an apology because he's being racist. Arnold struck back with, they are ripping us off and I'll say it over and over again. I will not apologize. Kudos to the Governor. That's what I like to hear. He speaks his mind. Not like Davis who signed the illegal immigrant license bill just to garner votes. Yes, I agree, it is a little brash and unpolished. The governor could have chosen less harmful words. But hey, it's what he believes in. I wish our society could be more like that. All this PC stuff is driving me nuts. The classic rebuttal to the PC people is thieves don't rob banks. They prefer to call it making undocumented withdrawals. It's so easy nowadays to be offended.

Words overheard:

"What time will you get to Burger King?"
"20 minutes"
"Ok I will see you there in 20 minutes."
"Oh, I'll be a little late."

What the heck? This is what the guy I usually meet up to take the specimens to SFO said to me. Did he just lie to me? What the heck for? What the heck is that? I don't get it at all.

posted by John @ 11:48 PM Comments: 0

Rest in Peace Nemo

My fish died. He lived for about 15 months. I never thought much of him. But this is really ... I don't know the words. I always thought he was going to die right away. But somehow he lived on. And now... I don't know what I am going to do.

posted by John @ 10:10 PM Comments: 0

Yesterday's Me

I went to visit Nga at Big5 once. I didn't want to look weird so I bought a tube of tennis balls. To my surprise Helen was there. I think she wanted all three of us to have lunch but Nga couldn't get out of work. So Helen and I went alone. We went to Pho Pasteur next to Safeway. She knew the owner. We had a pleasant chat. I remember I owe her a lunch since she refused to let me pay. I finaly got to know who Helen was. She was one of those people who hung around people I hung around but we never got to meet. She seemed to know so much about me and yet, I just barely knew she even went to Silver Creek. She was a special type of person I thought. A few months later we chatted a bit online and that was that. I saw her again a couple years ago and she asked me, what "brown bag" meant. I hadn't the foggiest idea what she meant. I was just thinking now, I remember. The last time I talked to her I left her with those two words. I said, I would tell her what they meant when I saw her again. I said this because I thought it was probably the last time I would chat with her. Which is about right. I said that because I wanted her to remember something about me. Anything at all. So as usual, I decided on something completely weird and means absolutely nothing: Brown Bag. I didn't figure she'd remember since our encounters are so far and few in between. Amazingly she did. I just think that it is so... nice... for lack of a better word. I like nice people.

posted by John @ 1:11 AM Comments: 0

I missed the debate

Nyquil works like I charm. I slept like a baby. Unfortunately, it didn't kick in until after 12. I wandered today fatigued up the wazoo. I could barely move. Did some research on on-campus housing. 360 per month to share a dorm room sounds good. They're all apartment complexes so you have a shared living room and kitchen and a private bath for you and your room mate I guess. So it looks good and off went my app. My email to ask for more information was met with: We'll be sending it to you. I expected them to say, oh coming in at the middle of the year means it'll be tough to get you a room. So I guess no one does on-campus housing at a State University. There we're that many rooms. 192 total that holds 2-8 people. Anyway here goes nothing. I don't need a car or parking permit. I'll just be stuck at school the whole time. I checked the address and it's on Valley Blvd. To those of you who paid attention when we go to LA, all the Asian places are on Valley and Garfield in Alhambra and its vicinities. So I'm a short bus ride away.

Next week is gonna be a tough one as I will be " " the whole time. A lot to do yesiree.

Apparently Kerry made a low blow shot at a Cheney daughter last night. I've already heard on the radio that a few lesbians and gays are pissed enough that they have switched camps to Bush. I wonder what Nam thinks or if he even watched it. From descriptions he wasn't making fun of them, it just came off that way. So I say bad bad Kerry. But you don't have to condemn him.

posted by John @ 10:16 PM Comments: 3

*Cough* *Cough*

It is a cough that never ends.
It goes on and on my friends.
Some sick people started spreading it not knowing what it was.
And I'll continue coughing it just because...

Three things will contribute to my demise.

1 and 2 are of the same. My two last vesitges in balance holding has overturned. New doorman s has been convinced to let me park up front again like the old doorman always had. Dr. Chen in Daly city is out for the month so I don't have to deal with the nurse who hates me

And number 3 is the kicker. My uncle once lost his checkbook. He signed a couple of blanks checks inside. Anyway, he searched for two weeks in vain before closing his account and opening a new one. On the same day he did that he found his checkbook. It's not until something concrete is done before what you sought appears. Case in particular:

Ying Ying has been making a valiant effort in promoting her Three's Company living arrangement. I descented much of the time just because I dislike living with two girls who will gang up on me and make me slave labor. Her gambit was: "My can cook." She can? Oh damm, the way to a man's heart is his stomach. She can cook good and never leave me hungry. Oh man, how can I refuse? Also the quarter system is so much more attractive to me than the semester system. So I made my decision. Tuesday, I dropped my letter of intent to go to Hayward in the mail. CONCRETE. I come home later and my acceptance letter to LA has arrived. It always comes to that huh?

So that's why I am a dead man. I have a target on my back. Good things just don't happen to me. But I'm going to LA. It's what I've always wanted to do. The only thing I worry about is Kim. We had plans many for this winter. Now they've been dashed. I'm pretty sure that she knows my flake is to chase my dreams. An acceptable excuse I hope.

Words overheard:

Dean Edel says that people who talk on cellphones with hands-free kits are not safer than those who talk on the cellphone without one. Odd huh? You'd think it was a no-brainer but study shows that it doesn't help. Good, because I don't use a hands-free device. I keep breaking it when I get out of the car and getting it caught on the seatbelt

posted by John @ 10:27 PM Comments: 0

The end

It is with fond regret that I say farewell to life as I know it. There is just too much positive going on. I know the balance is tipped way over now. Perhaps it is over. Now is my chance to start anew. Blossom into a flower. Grow up into a swan. "Ups" and "downs". That's how I know it. Or rather just "downs". I only know "downs". I don't really know how to be happy. I guess I will have to learn. Anyway, sleep is required at the moment and tomorrow I will delve deeper into the hidden workings of the craziness that is my life.

posted by John @ 11:49 PM Comments: 0

Superman died today

Today's adventures are few but the gratefulness is there. I am feeling good. Two bad things happened today:

One, the new doorman appeared again. I thought the old guy was back for good. And even worse this new guy went back on his word. He said I could park in the little corner up front if no one was there. I went up there and he said "No No, get your ass out." Or something to that degree. I huffed and puffed but reluctantly parked at a yellow zone ever wary of passing evil meter maids. The guy took one look at me as I approached the hospital entrance, "Oh, I didn't recognize you."

Another bad thing is that the Dr. Chen stop still refuses to call me when they don't have a pick up. I go there anyway since it is written on my manifest that I must go everyday. I don't mind all that much since the alternative is waiting for them to finish versus coming and going real fast. Anyway, I think the nurse there is mad at me. She gives me this face that says, "You're a loser at a deadend job." I often go there and interrupt her and force her to come around front to open the door for me. Hey, if you had called me not to come I wouldn't bother you. But I probably have one of those faces that also screams, "You bitch, wasted my time." So I guess it goes both ways. Oh, before you think anything. I don't really care. I finish my day at 7PM whether there is something or not because I have to wait for people at the end. So I don't really mind all that much. It's just my face. My face always scream, "I don't like you." I can't help it.

I'm happy because balance is achieved. I prefer little bad things happen to me, rather than something huge. And at the rate of good that has been happening this is very much appreciated. I don't really believe in karma, I just believe in probability. Chances are you go up, and then you come crashing down. So it's best to go down slowly.

Had a little meeting with Yuka today about our seminar. Ack, I hate speaking to timid girls who can barely anunciate. She's so nice too so I can't go, can you speak up? Over and over again. So I just let it go most of the time. In the end, I didn't really understand her at all. I wonder how we are going to speak in front of the class if she is like this. Oh well, I hope for the best. I do sense that she speaks well. If only she speaks up.

Words overheard today:

"He was a real-life hero."

I feel ashamed for saying negative things when he just past away and all. But seriously. What makes him a hero? He contributed a lot to stem cell research and spinal injury research. He started foundations and was a spokesperson for the people affected. Ummm... so he put a lot of money into finding a cure for his problem and that makes him a hero. Well, did he do anything before the accident? I mean, if I was rich and famous and had a terminal disease, I'd make myself the spokesperson for the disease and dump all my money into it too. It's more for selfish reasons than to help anyone else. Helping others is just a positive side effect. It's just like those documentaries that show people with diseases and say how brave they are. What else are they supposed to do? They have the disease and now all they can do is keep on living. That makes them brave?

posted by John @ 9:21 PM Comments: 2

A real man

三個星其以前我的朋友 Ying Ying 跟我介紹她的朋友叫Jennifer。 我覺得她是一個好女孩。她和我現在都是大學生。她很幫得她的家。她很喝得酒。我們的讓子便紅可是Jennifer 沒時吧。我覺得她應該喜歡個人不想我。她要一行工的男人﹐一個有能力眷顧她﹐一個有勇氣的男人。就重要就是她要一個中國人因為是這讓容易談話。我可以作這些東西可是沒是時候。等兩年。兩年以候我就是一個真正的男人。我希望我們可以作朋友因為我們都很喜歡唱卡拉OK。

posted by John @ 6:57 PM Comments: 3

The Adventure of Teeth

We'll make it simple. My teeth hurt so much the other day that I couldn't sleep. I was already hurting (of another kind) from lack of sleep. I stuffed two aleve down my gob and crushed myself to sleep. My sickness that seemed to had gone away after two days returned to full force on the third. Very simple reason why. My body was so extremely fatigued. Sick, tired, and hungry what more do you want. I was surprised I didn't faint. Well, real men don't faint. That's probably the reason. But I feel like I am running my body ragged. This week has been a PITA. I think I will catch up this weekend so this doesn't repeat itself. I got 2 hours of sleep Wednesday night. I lost my voice Friday night. First time ever in my entire life. And I've lost 10 pounds. The latter of which I am still am... what is that word where you feel two different feelings at once? Ambivalent. That's it.

I got a good lecture from Kim Friday afternoon. It was quite revealing and intriguing. I don't know how to handle the data that has been revealed though.

Ying Ying reiterated Kim's words in a no longer surprising coincidence. Remember I told you how Kim's words or actions will somehow mirror the things I have done? This is just a little opposite is all.

Another celebrated birthday today. 25 years. So old. Wonder what Lee is gonna do now? Same old same old? No way. Always new and exciting things

Uncle went off to Vietnam and I take over his job. Whoopee. This is gonna be a challenging month.

Kim got the 5 tickets to see theater productions. Whooppee. We are now elite in the back two rows of the balcony. YEAH!

Going kayaking with Lee, Ernest and Hoang. Someone seems scared.

Gonna go buy some more ski equipment and a season pass for Hoang

Ying Ying dangles bait in front of my to go to Hayward and move in with her two friends. Live with 3 chicks huh? At first you would think 3's company antics. But I err on the side of caution. 3 chicks equals 3 against me. And I don't argue well. But still, this may be my chance to live on my own, if just for a short while. Is that good for me? It's not like I care to go to San Jose. Then what is the problem. I'm just scared. People don't tolerate me long term. OOOOOOhhh it's low self esteem talking. I'll think about it some more. I think I can still send in my letter of intent to Hayward a couple days late. I checked the Physics course list for both schools. Quite hefty. But if I fail one quarter, I can make it up next quarter. But if I fail one semester, I am more screwed. All signs lean toward Hayward. I don't want to depend on Ying Ying though. I don't want to depend on anyone. If I go, I will need her. To be there. I'll sleep on it some more.

Got kitchen table. It totally doesn't match but oh well, the house is starting to look furnished.

Words overheard today:

"wahhhhh wahhhhh wahhhhh"

The crying is bad enough, but did you have to amplify it on the monitor. You stupid inconsiderate... blah blah.. so sleepy and argghhhghgh.

posted by John @ 10:40 PM Comments: 0

I think Bush won again, but I am probably wrong again

Oh oh, I am really worried now. Apparently the old doorman hasn't been fired. I saw him again today. He said he was switched to day shift for a couple of days, but now he is back. Crap, yeah, I am glad to see him but oh no.. what lurks behind the veil of evil??? Yes scared silly now

Claire walked up to me today and asked me what "culture" meant in identifying the pictures. I started ranting about how it specifies the place that the people lived in. Babylonian, Sumerian, or Akkadian. The heck? I actually fell into my own trap of being right and smart???!!! That's how smooth I was. Anyway, she lapped it up. And apparently I really am intelligent because I turned out to be right. She actually believed I knew what I was talking about and we progressed to other aspects to question. Yeah I know, I can hardly believe it myself. I actually pay attention. Oh crap, I just remembered I forgot to talk about her eyes. She has these really neat green eye contacts. Oh, she is Korean by the way so it looks really different on an Asian. I asked her about her braces and how long she's worn them. 3 months! Me too! You wear braces? Yeah Invisalign! Wow, I couldn't tell. Really? You can't tell that I talk funny? Nope. We had a really nice conversation and then Cynthia Reiss had to show up and open the doors.

Yumi made me think of Jack. She's a Taiwanese girl born and raised in Japan. So here we have the cute Chinese girl look and she speaks fluent Japanese and her English isn't half bad at all. But she is a little young. Looks all of 19 to me. But still, very attractive background.

Words overheard today:

"No new taxes for people making less than $200,000"

Alright Mr. Kerry you have my firm vote now.

posted by John @ 3:02 AM Comments: 0

Balance

Good and bad. There has to be a bad in order for there to be a good. If you don't have bad, how do you know you're good? The past few weeks have been pretty good and the balance was tipped. So the other day, some order of things appeared. At Chinese Hospital in the heart of downtown SF Chinatown, there is no parking. Previously, the doorman allowed me to park in the white lane for a couple of minutes while I run in and out. I hadn't seen him in awhile and apparently he's quit. The new guy is a piece of work. I saw a guy pull up to the white spot and wait his turn to make a turn into the driveway and this ass actually walked up to him and said you can't park here. Hello, see the blinker? He said, "You have to move." "I WILL WHEN THE CAR IN FRONT OF ME DOES!" Geez man what is wrong with him. I parked in the white zone and he immediately comes up to me, and I try to explain to him I am just making a delivery. "I'm not gonna bother talking to you. You have to move" is what he said and walked away. This is gonna make work quite complicated.

I spent Sunday with Kim at the Comedy Jam. What a joy. I love politically incorrect jokes. Yeah, I'm vulgar. I'm crude. I don't know where the line is drawn. But hey, people need to stop being uptight. I like Carlos Macias the best because he makes fun of everyone and every group with impunity. There is mercy, no special treatment, just poke fun at everyone. And why can't we be like that? His preach is golden. Generalize at will and stereotype with gusto. I liked David Allen Grier as well. His jokes weren't that funny, but it's the way he carried himself. He just did his expressions very well and he seemed every calm and at ease. A professional. I paid dearly for the show though because the next morning I woke with only 4.5 hours of sleep. The rest of the week would mirror this shortchanging. Again, it's the bad changing the balance of things.

Words overheard on Monday:

"I had a 1.65 GPA and now I am going to Berkeley."

This was spoken by a gorgeous white guy. He had the long flowing blond hair, the rugged chiseled chin, an unshaven face that screams I am an outdoors man. I am tough and rough. Look at my hard brown shoes and thick jeans. I've been to places. I like to hike and travel with just the shirt off my back. He even had a book bag instead of a backpack like standard students. This is how I saw him anyway. He was explaining to us his GPA from his first couple of years of college. He dropped out and came back at 25 and have now at 27 started his first year at Berkeley. Hmmm, sounds familiar, but I don't have his rugged good looks and I had a better GPA.

posted by John @ 9:16 PM Comments: 1

I'm in

Hey, look at that. I'm going to San Jose State. Jack was right. And in a time of need, his words gave me the confidence and composure I needed to act. And here I am. I am awed. I bow down to Jack. Simple words for a simple mind to do a simple thing. I'm at a loss for words. I think I will contemplate this overnight before I comment anymore.

Saturday was my sister Quynh's birthday party. Increasingly, I've been involved in my two sisters group of friends. It's pretty neat. It's like Friends, you can have siblings involved, without problems. We did what I would consider a near perfect nice and easy birthday:
Dinner and bowling.
So simple and yet it's never worked out for my friends before. We went to a place in Sunnyvale that had belly-dancing. Good food, good entertainment and good prices. What a trio. I must have a sign that says adolescent newbie or whatever you call it on me. But the belly dancer immediately comes over to me and starts hipping me. (Think about it.) I don't know, man, I'm trying to eat dinner. I want to give you some money but how do I do it? I'm supposed to touch you? Is that ok? Isn't it hands off or something? Do you pull out your uhhhh bra strap or whatever so I can slip it in? Ohhhh, I'm supposed to do it. And why are you playing hard to get? Do you want the money or not? Point your hip this way and stay still already.... oh gosh everyone is laughing at me. Crap, I'm not turning red am I? Geez, that was the first time I felt embarassed that I've never been to a strip joint.

Ling was there. I hadn't seen her in years. She's one year older than me and was living in LA last I saw her. Now, she is a resident pharmacist at VA Palo Alto. Hehehe, that's my last stop of the day. She warns me to pay attention to the speed limit because it is federal property. If I get a ticket, it can be a federal offense. Residency for a pharmacist is the pits apparently. You get kicked around because you are the new guy. She tells me she's working odd hours all the time and on weekends too. She doesn't even dare go out bowling later because she might have to work early on Sunday tomorrow. Ehhh, I wouldn't worry about her though. I just say, after one year of this, you're gonna be making almost 6 figures so just tough it out and you'll be set in no time. She talks about this social dance class she takes that has a severe lack of male partners. If she had a tad less self esteem, she would be out of there. As it is though, she constantly has to play the male role with another girl. Hmmm... maybe I should take a social dance class. I have low self esteem... I think... but to be choice meat? That would be neat. No no, I actually want to dance. I think it's fun. I was just always worried I wouldn't have a dance partner and I've been poking around my friends to see who wants to do it but no one seems to have time. But if the ratio is this good in my favor... hmmm.

Words overheard today:

"There's another rumor going around that you have a girlfriend."

Again? Why am I so popular?

posted by John @ 9:58 PM Comments: 2

I am a bastard

I'm sitting in my car filling out my manifests from the day's work. I have the door wide open and a couple boxes strewn in the parking space next to mine. I hear a car coming and it appears to want the spot next to mine. Instead of being polite, I lounge in my car refusing to close my door. It waits and yet I still do nothing. Then an Asian woman walks out and says very politely in an exasperated tone, "Hello, it's so hard to find a parking spot. So many cars today. Can you close your door? Thank you very much" I felt so ashamed, what was I doing? Why didn't I close the door? Why did I have to be so mean? Such a bastard.

And now from another viewpoint, not to condone my actions but to at least show how stupid I was. I am parked outside Lion and for some reason there is a crazy amount of cars here. Last minute Moon Festival shopping? I find two empty spots next to each other and I take the left one. I am almost finished filling out my manifests when I hear the car coming. I quickly jotted down the last piece of information and progressed to moving the boxes out of the way so I could close my door. Then the car honked at me. What the heck? Don't you see me trying to help you out? So I laid the boxes back down on the ground and sat down with the door wide open. You go find another spot, you impatient man. I was expecting an angry white man coming out to yell at me and as he comes close enough to me, I would close my door and leave. I just wanted to annoy him enough to get out of his car. But then this really nice looking Asian woman who looks like she's in a real hurry comes out speaking to me so nicely that I just looked at myself and felt stupid. What was I doing? Why do I have to be a bastard?

posted by John @ 1:56 AM Comments: 0

But Kerry is the actual winner

I'm just too partisan I guess. I like George W. Bush but I am reluctantly voting for Kerry because of one issue. Seems ridiculous. I disagree with many more things that Kerry proposes to do than with Bush but I can't get over the stem cell issue. So I guess I was hoping to find something during the debates for Bush to win me over. He almost did. I only heard the first 20 minutes of it and the last 10. I heard Bush reiterating his stand: Firm and strong. We will stay the course. I heard him answer the questions he was asked. I heard him fight and try to argue for more time. So it means he does have something to say. And all I heard from Kerry is this President is doing it wrong. I will do it right. How? He's rarely specific. All he can do is criticise, but how? You really think 6 months is enough time for you to propose your changes to get our troops out of Iraq? It reminds me of Gray Davis. Before election: Our budget deficit is 9 billion. After election: Our budget deficit is 38 billion. That's right make it a small number and tack on, it could be longer/more depending on blah blah. I can say this with absolute certainty. THERE IS NO WAY MAJOR US PRESENCE CAN LEAVE IRAQ IN 6 MONTHS. What makes you think bilateral negotiations with Korea will work when it did not work for Clinton? Oh that's right continue to make resolutions and continue to talk. 16 resolutions with Iraq wasn't enough. Let's keep going. When do you consider it a last resort? And then there is the infamous sound bytes of his flip-flop. I contend that, yes, people are allowed to change their minds. Yes, people should be flexible including politicians on what the say based on new information. They shouldn't stand by one decision and refuse to change. Kind of like when Bush was asked if there was anything he'd do different about the war. "I can't think of any." Good one Mr. President. Your post war plans have been downright abysmal. Even I can think of something you could have done different. Don't send supply truck convoys going empty both ways. It's a waste of resource and manpower and it's a needless risk on the drivers and soldiers that go with them. It's a little thing compared to other issues. But I'm just saying that no one is perfect, there's always something you could have done better.

But has Kerry really changed his mind? I don't think so. I think he's only saying he's that now so that he has a firm ground to stand on that he opposes the war. That way he garners guaranteed votes from those who are against the war as well. Before his stand on the war was vague and that made it hard for people to decide. Kerry loved dodging the question, using his time instead to talk about something else the current president is doing wrong that has nothing to do with the question.

At any rate, apparently Bush didn't have enough material to last 90 minutes and floundered after a strong beginning. Which I didn't see. So as of now, my leaning to vote for Kerry is smaller so let's see how the next two debates go. I haven't changed my vote yet.

posted by John @ 11:28 AM Comments: 0