Her name is Lilan?
There's a really cute girl in Chemistry class that sits behind me usually and asks a lot of questions. They're not stupid questions but they're not exactly smart questions either. They do show that this girl really wants to learn and I admire that. She's the only girl of interest to me and I wish had the courage to talk to her. It's coming to the end of the quarter so time is running out. I, unfortunately, have this superior attitude in class which is beginning to make me hate myself. It interferes with me talking to people in a normal way. I keep looking down on them like a snob. Like how can you be this dumb? Pay attention idiot. Anyway, so I'm in the library finishing up my essay for class and this girl runs up to me and says, "You're in my chemistry class right?" I look her in the face and squint. She looks familiar but I don't know her at all but there are like 70 people in the class. "I remember you sit in the front and you wear your..." She gestures to the back of her head. I put my hand to the back of my head and feel my glasses and then smile wide. Sure, she doesn't know my name but damm I have a signature look. Feels good to be remembered. I'm thinking she sees me as the guy who answers questions in class and wears glasses on the back of his head like an idiot. She proceeds to ask me questions about the lab we did last week while I rack my brain. Then it dawned on me, It's that cute girl. She's not as cute today. She's not wearing makeup or expensive designer clothes. Only a brown sweatshirt and jeans. Her eyes are bloodshot and she looks like she could use some rest. Poor girl's been up all night working on the lab report. awwwwww.... That just makes her even more cute despite what I just wrote. History repeats itself and this chance encounter leaves me muttering incoherent phrases. Why must I always get tongue tied in front of someone I like? She asks me questions and i just answer yes and no. I could have given much smarter answers. Mandy says, I should have just asked, "Hey cutie, wanna have lunch?" Heheh, like those words would ever exit my mouth to a girl. "Are you sure that's how you do it?" Yeah, I'm sure, I got a perfect on this lab report. But all I could do was nod. I don't think I am making a good impression and it's getting really hot in this cold cold air-conditioned library all of a sudden. I longed to escape the pressure. Now that it is over, I still don't know her name. What an utter failure I am and at this age to boot.Nam came to visit the other weekend. I'm quite quite ashamed of my place. I almost wanted to tell him don't bother staying at my hole in the ground, you'd be better off anywhere else. It took me 1 hour to drive the 12 miles to Neal's place in heavy LA traffic. I believe I can bike that speed steadily. We had pho and then headed on over to Eric's in Irvine to catch an impromptu comedy show. I had an extreme lack of sleep so I didn't really want to go. But two of my favorite things were happening, meeting people and live shows, I had to go. I got to meet Eric and multiple Kim's. One thing about Eric and Kims, they all talked very... hmmm nonchalant, I think is the word. Not aggressive, not loud, not anything. They sounded like nothing important was happening and everything is ok. I thought that tone was pretty interesting. The comedy show was a rendition of Who's Line is it Anyway. Let me tell you, it's worth every penny to watch it, which is nothing but if they had charged, I'd gladly pay. You wouldn't be able to to tell that this was an amature production. It was that good. Bonnie is gonna be the future Tina Fey and one of the Greg's looks like he came straight out of Kids in the Hall. But it was Lilan who captured my attention. The place was so packed that I wasn't enough room to cross my legs. The show lasted 2 hours and I didn't want to leave. I wanted to see more sit, stand, kneel and lie down. She was cute to the maximus and had a flat stomach. Flat stomachs = Hot! Hot! Hot! if you didn't know. That's right she showed some skin. I should be in pain from the awkward position but I just wanted to see her more. Her last words were. "She peeled her fruit just like a Bananer." So brilliant and smart, I'm gushing. Mixed Chinese huh?
We had lunch the next day at a West Hollywood diner. Everyone likes to wear logos on their t-shirts. Neal cooks. Ken is looking for a new apartment. The conversation huddles around the only girl of the group, Thuy Vu. The other two guys didn't say much so I don't know about them. Eric tells me he majored in Bio and is now working. 4 years of school and then a job. I can do that. 2 more years to go.
I noticed Eric has colorless phone. Why is that interesting to me? Because I've been surrounded by material wealth. All my friends seem to flash their new electronic gadgets, model their designer clothes, or zip around town in their new car. What for? Do these expensive things make you happy? I admit, I was caught up in it too with my go fast computer. But the last couple of years have told me that these material things aren't important anymore. Jeremy just bought a house for 670k. All financed on his own. He must have a lot of expensive things. Just about all my friends have new cars. Jeremy is still driving a plain old vanilla Honda Accord LX. His computer is still the 32-bit variety. He lives very simply and spends his money very frugally. Mandy's boyfriend is the same. His clothes make me say fob, but his two houses and stock portfolio screams rich. I want to be like that, prepared for the future. I don't want to spend my money just because I got paid and I want that new thing. Everything has to be justified. I'm probably not good at this since I sacrfice food for things. But anyway, I see Eric wave hi to just about everyone at the Comedy show. I wonder, what are material things for? All the money I spent on things to impress people or to make me happy for the moment. In the end, I'm still here. I first started getting into debt because I wanted a loud sound system for my car. Now I have a simple cheap cd mp3 player for my car and I am content. I want that fancy video camera phone but if I had lost it like I did my old phone, I'd cry. Now, looking back on things that I don't feel too good about buying. It's the things that seem trivial. The experiences however is all worth it. Asia trip set me back but well worth it. I was gonna sell the Integra before it got hit because it served no useful purpose. Have to be smart.
posted by John @ 6:03 PM
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