So what is new with me? Well, we'll skip over the obvious and delve right into the more obscure details of my life.
Number 1 is that I am going back to school. That's right. I am currently enrolled in University of Arizona's optics program. I'm not officially enrolled in the MS degree but that's the plan for the future. I'm going to take a few optics classes since work pays for it and see how it goes. If I do well, then I will apply. Why don't I apply now? That's a question for you to ask me.
Number 2 is I am moving back home. It's been a wonderful experience being out there on my own. I've had ups and downs. I may complain about my roommate a lot but honestly, he's been a great roommate. No one is perfect. I just like to complain a lot. I would continue living with him if money were no object. I think I've accomplished what I set out to do here. Mainly, be close to work so that my initial training can be easier. I can come and go without worrying about the three hour drive.
Number 3 is my brother from Japan is coming to visit in a couple of weeks.
Even I am surprised by how well this photo turned out. If only someone as capable as me were behind the camera, then I would have a backdrop like this for my wallpaper. Alas, we'll just have to enjoy my splendor as thus.
So tired. I couldn't have had a better time. Here's a pic of me. Not really sure what I am doing. But I have to say, I look pretty tall. My coworker and her bf were like little energizer bunnies. It was everything we could do to keep up with them. It was interesting to watch. We were usually found behind them trying not to fall too far behind.
There's a sense of tranquility when you place a baby upon your chest and watch it slowly nod into slumber. Baby Lia hicupped and squirmed a few moments while I held her. She seemed to like jerking here leg to and fro while mouthing like a fish. This one many be an Olympic swimmer. Watch out for her in 15 years. After she wrestles into a comfortable position she likes, I watch her wides eyes start a slow struggle to remain open. She seems genuinely curious to study her surroundings, namely; my face. But her conscious time span has not been exercised fully in her four short weeks on planet Earth. Thusly, I get to watch one of the most beautiful sightings in life: a baby peacefully sleeping on top of your beating heart.
My friend emailed me about another church retreat to attend in Lake Tahoe for the 4th of July weekend. How am I going to turn that down? $104 food and lodging? I'm down. I arrived a bit but in time to hear most of the message. Then we packed into our cars and headed to the beach to secure a good spot to see the show. Again, those that know me know that I don't care much for fireworks. I guess I've just seen a lot of them. From the ones in downtown San Francisco, to Disneyland to the ones they keep shooting off at the Santa Clara Fairgrounds. I lived right behind the fairgrounds and therefore have become numb to the experience. I have to say fireworks technology has improved greatly since the last I saw it. There were happy faces. Hearts. Cubes. There was even a Saturn. What amazed me the most were the ones that were levitating in midair for maybe 15 seconds while burning. Looked like a flaming hummingbird. It was the most fantastic fireworks show I have ever seen.
It's an odd thing about girls and myself. Maybe my desperate vibes are no longer there. I saw a couple of girls from our group I never met and immediately went to introduce myself. One caught my eye and I devoted my attention to her. We talked much as we waited for the sun to set. I had thought she looked very familiar. It turns out I've seen her at a bible study class throughout the year. She played the piano. I always wanted to go up and talk to her but never had the guts to do so. On the beach at a church retreat social, it was much easier to approach her. In my wild fantasy, the thought occurred that she may be interested in me. But eh, what do I know about reading women. Besides I'm not about to split my attention away from my current alignment.
My friend came to visit me yesterday. It has been awhile since we've had a chance to talk one on one. Those moments come rare these days because I don't care to call her anymore. It's too much exercise to exclude her SO. Don't get me wrong, her SO is one of my best friends in the world. I like seeing him too. But you know how it is. They show up in a pair while I become the light bulb. Translate that to Chinese if you don't understand. No one wants to be the light bulb.
Anyway, she wanted insight on my dating life and I adamantly refused to tell her on grounds that she belittles me and offends me greatly when I go into detail about girls. She assures me that she is only being genuine and is only concerned about me. I've been saying lately that I am an open book. Anyone can know all about my life. They need only ask. I don't mind her knowing about my love life. What I do mind is her commentating. Which is not to knock her. I know she's not being mean. She's just being herself. But it just rubs me the wrong way and puts me down. I mean really down. Those that know me, know that I have a hangup about girls. I mean, my self-esteem is based on how girls view me. Or at least how I think they view me. It's taken me a long time work past this problem and actually approach girls like a normal person.
So we talked all night dancing around the girl subject. I gave her tidbits into my love life even though I was steadfast against it. I was beginning to feel more comfortable and relent a little. Maybe I was wrong about her after all.
Then she says, "I can't wait until you're married and have your first kiss," she said with a devilish smile. "How are you going to do that when you don't like being touched?"
Oh gosh, I can't even keep quiet about my own little secrets. Can't even begin to count how many things are wrong with that statement.
Today was a good day. I was given my third project at work. Which in my eyes means I'm doing good work and management trusts me with another hundreds of thousands of dollars contract. That's a good thing/ And something just occurred to me. I'm not scared about being happy. I'm not worried something bad is going to happen. Is this what they call growing up? I make up little side theories of pessimism to avoid being let down. It's just that I've grown up to so many failed promises that in order not to be disappointed, I had to lower my expectations. But not today. I earned my third project. I worked hard to get it.
